








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1344 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 925 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1316 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,146 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEFZUCC | 61% | 79 |
| #2 | jaaacko | 58% | 73 |
| #3 | Coldtits@wup | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | The BabaBingo'd | 55% | 124 |
| #5 | big red | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jaaacko | 58% | 73 |
| #3 | Coldtits@wup | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | The BabaBingo'd | 55% | 124 |
| #5 | big red | 53% | 45 |
| #6 | flash | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The BabaBingo'd | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | CHEFZUCC | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Coldtits@wup | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | jaaacko | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEFZUCC | 160 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | The BabaBingo'd | 148 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | jaaacko | 143 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | flash | 57 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Coldtits@wup | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaaacko | +3.37 | 70 | 76 |
| #2 | CHEFZUCC | +3.01 | 61 | 68 |
| #3 | JuGGeR | +1.80 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | flash | -1.69 | 53 | 76 |
| #5 | The BabaBingo'd | -1.84 | 54 | 61 |





