








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5056 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3824 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5966 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3969 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,198 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big red | 62% | 61 |
| #2 | The BabaBingo'd | 62% | 68 |
| #3 | JuGGeR | 61% | 79 |
| #4 | jaaacko | 58% | 154 |
| #5 | flash | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big red | 62% | 61 |
| #2 | The BabaBingo'd | 62% | 68 |
| #3 | JuGGeR | 61% | 79 |
| #4 | jaaacko | 58% | 154 |
| #5 | flash | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The BabaBingo'd | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | jaaacko | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | big red | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaaacko | 310 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | The BabaBingo'd | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | flash | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | JuGGeR | 33 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | big red | 16 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaaacko | +2.19 | 73 | 74 |
| #2 | CHEFZUCC | +0.95 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | JuGGeR | +0.81 | 71 | 44 |
| #4 | The BabaBingo'd | -2.25 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | flash | -2.51 | 43 | 75 |





