








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Renown | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2020 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1424 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1550 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2003 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,868 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 633 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | patryk. | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | bread enjoyer | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | breadmaker85 | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | jazz | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Vallas | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | breadmaker85 | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | jazz | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Vallas | 48% | 50 |
| #6 | Distant Quacking | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | Kim | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vallas | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Distant Quacking | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | breadmaker85 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | jazz | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Kim | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breadmaker85 | 238 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Vallas | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kim | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | bread enjoyer | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Distant Quacking | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noodle Cat | +3.18 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | bread enjoyer | +2.71 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | breadmaker85 | +0.15 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | patryk. | -0.60 | 49 | 60 |
| #5 | Vallas | -0.94 | 47 | 52 |





