








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 671 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9652 | 29% |
| Smokes | 10196 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 8124 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4890 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,212,767 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItzaHoudini | 49% | 71 |
| #2 | cloudwalker | 47% | 312 |
| #3 | Future Hendrix | 47% | 90 |
| #4 | 1ckd | 45% | 282 |
| #5 | jpz | 45% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kin3tix | 42% | 176 |
| #11 | LexG | 40% | 92 |
| #12 | Suck a Foo | 39% | 149 |
| #13 | kristi yamaguccimane | 39% | 109 |
| #14 | nospoon | 38% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cloudwalker | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Bloodrich | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | A1kaline | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | 1ckd | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | nospoon | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodrich | 1194 | 0.18 | 40 min |
| #2 | 1ckd | 1042 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | A1kaline | 870 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #4 | conqqy | 694 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #5 | cloudwalker | 591 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodrich | +1.39 | 54 | 77 |
| #2 | nospoon | +1.13 | 78 | 41 |
| #3 | 1ckd | +1.05 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | cloudwalker | +0.03 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | conqqy | -0.07 | 68 | 59 |





