








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3154 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3185 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3252 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4228 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,545 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mbo | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | Zereliq | 71% | 34 |
| #3 | dengel | 54% | 72 |
| #4 | Zynex | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Pug | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mbo | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | Zereliq | 71% | 34 |
| #3 | dengel | 54% | 72 |
| #4 | Zynex | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Pug | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dengel | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Pug | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Zynex | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dengel | 216 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Zereliq | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zynex | 58 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pug | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | mbo | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pug | +2.28 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | mbo | +1.86 | 76 | 29 |
| #3 | dengel | +1.55 | 85 | 70 |
| #4 | Zynex | +0.90 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | Zereliq | -0.17 | 61 | 66 |





