








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4648 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7706 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6940 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6327 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,669,581 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLÅHAJ ENJOYER | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Manie | 53% | 122 |
| #3 | mbo | 52% | 354 |
| #4 | tam honks | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | wooz | 45% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mbo | 52% | 354 |
| #4 | tam honks | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | wooz | 45% | 163 |
| #6 | Kasll | 43% | 53 |
| #7 | vera | 43% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mbo | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | wooz | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | vera | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | BLÅHAJ ENJOYER | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Kasll | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wooz | 536 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | Manie | 461 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | vera | 281 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kasll | 164 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | mbo | 158 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manie | +2.91 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | wooz | +1.77 | 89 | 71 |
| #3 | mbo | +1.16 | 79 | 37 |
| #4 | Kasll | -0.50 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | vera | -0.76 | 68 | 61 |





