








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2775 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3893 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4472 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4537 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,679,079 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goatman | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Nullerdusk | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | BlicheRâ„¢ | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | El Papi | 52% | 65 |
| #5 | Roe | 51% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlicheRâ„¢ | +5.33 | 65 | 58 |
| #2 | Nullerdusk | +1.28 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | El Papi | +0.71 | 55 | 51 |
| #4 | *Xthezee* | +0.45 | 54 | 58 |
| #5 | Xplized | +0.07 | 54 | 74 |





