








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 261 | 2% |
| Smokes | 4311 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4122 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3640 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,289,140 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roe | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | Lars Hjortshøj | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | misery | 54% | 87 |
| #4 | *Xthezee* | 52% | 65 |
| #5 | Pyndt | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Mic | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | Moe | 43% | 80 |
| #13 | NuGa_6 | 41% | 103 |
| #14 | Håldme | 38% | 26 |
| #15 | BC | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuclear Cookie | 503 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Xplized | 226 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | misery | 200 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | NuGa_6 | 151 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | d00f | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Papi | +1.67 | 58 | 40 |
| #2 | Mic | +1.21 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Pyndt | +0.89 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | Håldme | +0.54 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | Milo | +0.19 | 43 | 64 |





