








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 527 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1306 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1210 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,066 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masher | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | *Xthezee* | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Nullerdusk | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | Bot Why | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | HelleForHelvede | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlicheR™ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Nullerdusk | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Mr m0pie Ozoone Bazinga ™^ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | HelleForHelvede | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | *Xthezee* | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HelleForHelvede | 115 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nullerdusk | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | BlicheR™ | 75 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr m0pie Ozoone Bazinga ™^ | 58 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | *Xthezee* | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlicheR™ | +3.73 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | Nullerdusk | +1.10 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | vN | +0.66 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | *Xthezee* | -0.32 | 57 | 64 |
| #5 | Mr m0pie Ozoone Bazinga ™^ | -0.54 | 67 | 66 |





