








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 515 | 19% |
| Smokes | 798 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 553 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 812 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,001 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustGary | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Aowly ☁ | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | noski | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | SzymonStep | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Vesund | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustGary | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Aowly ☁ | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | noski | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | SzymonStep | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Vesund | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aowly ☁ | 14 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | SzymonStep | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | noski | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aowly ☁ | +0.74 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | noski | +0.11 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | SzymonStep | +0.02 | 90 | 53 |
| #4 | JustGary | +0.00 | 75 | 75 |
| #5 | Vesund | +0.00 | 87 | 66 |





