








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9003 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9256 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8132 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6584 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,096,095 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 870 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | joni | 49% | 45 |
| #8 | Schimanski | 45% | 75 |
| #9 | TrePaNiX | 45% | 75 |
| #10 | Keiths Butler | 43% | 161 |
| #11 | Wintersport SD | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yillja | 9 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | TrePaNiX | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Keiths Butler | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | joni | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Schimanski | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keiths Butler | 415 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Schimanski | 208 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | TrePaNiX | 152 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | xeroxM | 150 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wintersport SD | 140 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G2 Lester Beetlejuice Green | +2.43 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | turb0 | +2.16 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | TrePaNiX | +1.68 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | BigCheese | +1.61 | 68 | 73 |
| #5 | Yillja | +1.56 | 86 | 45 |





