








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2033 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2071 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2236 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1977 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2166 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,829 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dank Lee | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | gabe gab | 66% | 59 |
| #3 | hexen | 63% | 71 |
| #4 | StevieJuanderchild | 63% | 127 |
| #5 | Rin | 62% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Benji | 61% | 74 |
| #7 | alex | 61% | 94 |
| #8 | Ben1 | 52% | 44 |
| #9 | Abs | 51% | 39 |
| #10 | ionsto | 50% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rin | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | alex | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | StevieJuanderchild | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | ionsto | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Benji | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StevieJuanderchild | 807 | 0.29 | 23 min |
| #2 | ionsto | 480 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | alex | 476 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #4 | Rin | 441 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | hexen | 430 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hexen | +2.14 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Rin | +1.59 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | caVV | +0.64 | 76 | 67 |
| #4 | Benji | +0.61 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | ionsto | +0.58 | 91 | 69 |





