








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 399 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4954 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4915 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3708 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5246 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $894,972 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 64% | 154 |
| #2 | gabe gab | 62% | 130 |
| #3 | caVV | 62% | 142 |
| #4 | Abs | 62% | 60 |
| #5 | StevieJuanderchild | 61% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hexen | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Benji | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | alex | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ionsto | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | gabe gab | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StevieJuanderchild | 1270 | 0.28 | 37 min |
| #2 | hexen | 1158 | 0.24 | 32 min |
| #3 | Benji | 850 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #4 | ionsto | 837 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #5 | alex | 760 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rin | +2.25 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | hexen | +2.01 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | caVV | +0.64 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | Benji | +0.44 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | ionsto | +0.09 | 85 | 73 |





