








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 232 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3241 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2507 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2339 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2660 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,510 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rin | 64% | 154 |
| #2 | hexen | 63% | 131 |
| #3 | StevieJuanderchild | 62% | 140 |
| #4 | Benji | 61% | 112 |
| #5 | caVV | 61% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | caVV | 61% | 94 |
| #6 | Ben1 | 54% | 26 |
| #7 | ionsto | 52% | 90 |
| #8 | Abs | 49% | 51 |
| #9 | gabe gab | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benji | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | hexen | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Rin | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | caVV | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ionsto | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StevieJuanderchild | 835 | 0.28 | 25 min |
| #2 | hexen | 648 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #3 | Rin | 470 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Benji | 460 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #5 | ionsto | 449 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben1 | +2.60 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | hexen | +2.49 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | Rin | +1.83 | 84 | 68 |
| #4 | caVV | +0.93 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | ionsto | +0.93 | 89 | 74 |





