








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1562 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2891 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1591 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1793 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,025,425 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coolepinguin | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | NaamKanaal | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | magnetron | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | Levi Ackerman | 52% | 124 |
| #5 | Steenn | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coolepinguin | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | NaamKanaal | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | magnetron | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | Levi Ackerman | 52% | 124 |
| #5 | Steenn | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi Ackerman | 28 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | magnetron | 14 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Coolepinguin | 12 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | NaamKanaal | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Steenn | 3 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi Ackerman | 238 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | magnetron | 148 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Coolepinguin | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Steenn | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | NaamKanaal | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magnetron | +1.34 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Coolepinguin | +0.90 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | NaamKanaal | +0.78 | 54 | 49 |
| #4 | Levi Ackerman | +0.07 | 44 | 72 |
| #5 | Colonel GoatBanger | -0.09 | 50 | 61 |





