








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1093 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 720 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 580 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2115 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1869 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,760 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe-007 | 49% | 72 |
| #2 | sheoh | 47% | 146 |
| #3 | ✯𝕯𝕲✯ SLAKII | 44% | 391 |
| #4 | Mr Flickzy | 43% | 218 |
| #5 | xX_The_Quake_Xx | 41% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Flickzy | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ✯𝕯𝕲✯ SLAKII | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | sheoh | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | xX_The_Quake_Xx | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | NannyMcFee | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Flickzy | 588 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | sheoh | 296 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | NannyMcFee | 212 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | xX_The_Quake_Xx | 177 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✯𝕯𝕲✯ SLAKII | 167 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Flickzy | +3.25 | 60 | 54 |
| #2 | sheoh | +0.85 | 46 | 53 |
| #3 | EMPRESS LOLLA | +0.46 | 41 | 22 |
| #4 | ✯𝕯𝕲✯ SLAKII | -1.10 | 31 | 40 |
| #5 | NannyMcFee | -2.68 | 12 | 57 |





