








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 193 | 18% |
| Smokes | 287 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 325 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 250 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,783 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | b1azeD | 68% | 19 |
| #9 | ghost go faceit | 63% | 19 |
| #10 | maqu1na 💔 | 50% | 2 |
| #11 | ^4FointteSSJ | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | Tore | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ghost go faceit | 95 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | b1azeD | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | wopzie- YKz’ | 21 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | SoRRy | 21 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | xNanoEL6x | 20 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dogo Empresario | +3.93 | 90 | 27 |
| #2 | MAI NAIME IS JEFF!! Hellcase.com | +3.61 | 61 | 48 |
| #3 | xNanoEL6x | +3.41 | 78 | 78 |
| #4 | ^4FointteSSJ | +2.82 | 95 | 60 |
| #5 | ghost go faceit | +2.80 | 84 | 65 |





