








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1037 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1243 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 816 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,380 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xusi | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | w0pzie- AA | 100% | 7 |
| #3 | Greggy | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | Rubiirez | 86% | 7 |
| #5 | redentor | 79% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | blazeD | 40% | 5 |
| #19 | jacki | 40% | 5 |
| #20 | JagobaA7X | 33% | 6 |
| #21 | xJiNCh0 lft | 33% | 6 |
| #22 | Jordanz | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | someone | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | LizaN | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | mik; | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maqu1na ✝ | 168 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | tAURU$$$ | 88 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | TheClaraN | 81 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | redentor | 64 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | chemimimimimi | 51 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheClaraN | +3.66 | 93 | 72 |
| #2 | redentor | +2.57 | 91 | 73 |
| #3 | Tore | +2.39 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | Rubiirez | +2.27 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | xNanoEL6x | +1.44 | 82 | 66 |





