








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2318 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2038 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2429 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1807 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,316,734 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | stribez | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | Adv1se | 66% | 58 |
| #4 | TMm.Stycks 🐦💩💢 | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | Maxalof | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HNTRX #13 | 391 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | der Lehrling | 200 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 200 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | Adv1se | 158 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stony das Nagatier | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |





