








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3701 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4130 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2152 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2776 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,357 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adv1se | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | Stony das Nagatier | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Stryd | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | Kl3ppt0 | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adv1se | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | Stony das Nagatier | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Stryd | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | Kl3ppt0 | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kl3ppt0 | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Stryd | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Adv1se | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stryd | 200 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 176 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | Adv1se | 147 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kl3ppt0 | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Stony das Nagatier | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | +3.09 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | Stony das Nagatier | +0.90 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | HNTRX #13 | +0.71 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Adv1se | +0.19 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | Stryd | -0.43 | 77 | 58 |





