








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 417 | 5% |
| Smokes | 3501 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1743 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2435 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,321,177 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR.DIGENYO BHUTT | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | zaldin | 60% | 96 |
| #3 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | 59% | 280 |
| #4 | 2X PIMPY | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | Rigatoni | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 2X PIMPY | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | Rigatoni | 58% | 45 |
| #6 | Weener | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | Z O E | 56% | 155 |
| #8 | The Forest Green Goober | 51% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | The Forest Green Goober | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Z O E | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | 2X PIMPY | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | zaldin | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Forest Green Goober | 394 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | 338 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | Z O E | 167 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | zaldin | 103 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | 2X PIMPY | 22 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tipiqle | +5.47 | 73 | 34 |
| #2 | Rigatoni | +2.58 | 59 | 27 |
| #3 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | +1.18 | 52 | 51 |
| #4 | zaldin | +1.13 | 35 | 43 |
| #5 | 2X PIMPY | -1.75 | 36 | 30 |





