










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1149 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3620 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 1558 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1088 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,086 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rigatoni | 67% | 46 |
| #2 | Tipiqle | 60% | 96 |
| #3 | 2X PIMPY | 55% | 112 |
| #4 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | 51% | 229 |
| #5 | Z O E | 48% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | 51% | 229 |
| #5 | Z O E | 48% | 279 |
| #6 | MR.DIGENYO BHUTT | 46% | 24 |
| #7 | The Forest Green Goober | 42% | 192 |
| #8 | Weener | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Forest Green Goober | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Z O E | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | 2X PIMPY | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Tipiqle | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Forest Green Goober | 502 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Z O E | 397 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | 245 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | 2X PIMPY | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tipiqle | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tipiqle | +5.26 | 75 | 33 |
| #2 | Rigatoni | +4.47 | 64 | 26 |
| #3 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | +2.98 | 59 | 51 |
| #4 | zaldin | +1.22 | 39 | 47 |
| #5 | 2X PIMPY | -1.29 | 33 | 40 |





