








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2854 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5751 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6089 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4545 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,716,162 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1086 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Furry Destroyer. | 60% | 67 |
| #2 | Tipiqle | 59% | 280 |
| #3 | Rigatoni | 52% | 193 |
| #4 | zaldin | 51% | 229 |
| #5 | 2X PIMPY | 50% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Forest Green Goober | 37 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Z O E | 26 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | 2X PIMPY | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Tipiqle | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Rigatoni | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Forest Green Goober | 1381 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | Z O E | 850 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #3 | zaldin | 267 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | 2X PIMPY | 131 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tipiqle | 91 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tipiqle | +5.53 | 73 | 35 |
| #2 | Furry Destroyer. | +3.84 | 76 | 23 |
| #3 | Rigatoni | +3.22 | 63 | 33 |
| #4 | Greg, I Smell Drugs | +2.49 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | zaldin | +1.19 | 37 | 47 |





