










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 60 | 22% |
| Smokes | 85 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 65 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 68 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,186 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | taZa | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | ღDooMy | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | ex | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | fargius | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ღDooMy | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | ex | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | fargius | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Jacee | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | Fonz | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ღDooMy | 1 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | fargius | 1 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ex | 31 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #2 | taZa | 17 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #3 | Z | 16 | 0.30 | 0 min |
| #4 | ღDooMy | 8 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | fargius | 7 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taZa | +6.15 | 86 | 78 |
| #2 | fargius | +5.29 | 88 | 59 |
| #3 | zander | +2.84 | 82 | 50 |
| #4 | ex | +1.99 | 76 | 72 |
| #5 | Jacee | -0.53 | 86 | 31 |





