








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 386 | 32% |
| Smokes | 385 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 221 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 198 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,941 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muumi | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | L0c0Paulito | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | 4PF 夜 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | seppo $$$ money boi | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | L0c0Paulito | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | 4PF 夜 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | seppo $$$ money boi | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | retired and retarded | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0c0Paulito | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | L0c0Paulito | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | 4PF 夜 | 34 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Muumi | 11 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | seppo $$$ money boi | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | +2.63 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | seppo $$$ money boi | +2.32 | 78 | 43 |
| #3 | retired and retarded | +0.86 | 82 | 34 |
| #4 | Unconventional Gamesense | +0.81 | 86 | 52 |
| #5 | Muumi | -0.85 | 57 | 34 |





