








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 656 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 529 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 749 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $860,834 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 707 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muumi | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | retired and retarded | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 55% | 207 |
| #4 | 4PF 夜 | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | L0c0Paulito | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muumi | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | retired and retarded | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 55% | 207 |
| #4 | 4PF 夜 | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | L0c0Paulito | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | retired and retarded | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Muumi | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | 4PF 夜 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 445 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | 4PF 夜 | 142 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | retired and retarded | 118 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Muumi | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | L0c0Paulito | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retired and retarded | +1.78 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | +1.68 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Muumi | +0.26 | 52 | 38 |
| #4 | seppo $$$ money boi | -0.90 | 71 | 38 |
| #5 | 4PF 夜 | -1.83 | 68 | 46 |





