








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1900 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1423 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1880 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,350 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stunnaboy | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | seppo $$$ money boi | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | Dj bust a nut | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | L0c0Paulito | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | L0c0Paulito | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | r2me | 44% | 18 |
| #7 | [RS] Gooner | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | ECO COBRA | 39% | 36 |
| #9 | erky | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | seppo $$$ money boi | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | erky | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | stunnaboy | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Dj bust a nut | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | 148 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | erky | 129 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | [RS] Gooner | 118 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | ECO COBRA | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | stunnaboy | 70 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairs Made From Human Skeletons | +3.20 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | Dj bust a nut | +2.83 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | r2me | +2.02 | 90 | 59 |
| #4 | seppo $$$ money boi | +0.91 | 74 | 36 |
| #5 | ECO COBRA | +0.72 | 59 | 58 |





