








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3227 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2705 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1107 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3101 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,623 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 547 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gotcha_Hype | 51% | 387 |
| #2 | Squicky | 50% | 280 |
| #3 | Van Darkholme | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | BlekSpooderman2GO | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | IBoofJenkem | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gotcha_Hype | 1086 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #2 | IBoofJenkem | 95 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Squicky | 88 | 0.01 | 3 min |
| #4 | BlekSpooderman2GO | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Van Darkholme | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IBoofJenkem | +2.63 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Gotcha_Hype | +2.55 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | BlekSpooderman2GO | +1.67 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | EvaldasOfRivia | +0.77 | 79 | 49 |
| #5 | Squicky | -0.91 | 39 | 28 |





