








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 920 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2982 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2184 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1696 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,623 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KeO | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Gotcha_Hype | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | ☭Karma☭ | 44% | 78 |
| #4 | EvaldasOfRivia | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | Squicky | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KeO | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Gotcha_Hype | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | ☭Karma☭ | 44% | 78 |
| #4 | EvaldasOfRivia | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | Squicky | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gotcha_Hype | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | EvaldasOfRivia | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | ☭Karma☭ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Squicky | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | KeO | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gotcha_Hype | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | EvaldasOfRivia | 64 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | KeO | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☭Karma☭ | 29 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Squicky | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IBoofJenkem | +1.37 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | KeO | +1.35 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | Gotcha_Hype | +0.43 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | EvaldasOfRivia | -2.11 | 75 | 46 |
| #5 | ☭Karma☭ | -2.73 | 54 | 33 |





