








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 454 | 34% |
| Smokes | 90 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 467 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 306 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,181 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb-x | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Van Darkholme | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Squicky | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Gotcha_Hype | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | EvaldasOfRivia | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gotcha_Hype | 11 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Squicky | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | bb-x | 3 | 0.0313 |
| #4 | Van Darkholme | 2 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | EvaldasOfRivia | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gotcha_Hype | 100 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | EvaldasOfRivia | 72 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | IBoofJenkem | 14 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | Squicky | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | bb-x | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb-x | +6.48 | 59 | 51 |
| #2 | IBoofJenkem | +3.55 | 89 | 29 |
| #3 | BlekSpooderman2GO | +1.29 | 82 | 45 |
| #4 | Gotcha_Hype | +1.05 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | EvaldasOfRivia | +0.23 | 81 | 59 |





