








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1705 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2485 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2334 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2620 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,312,936 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tardik | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | ✪p4yn3x | 54% | 70 |
| #3 | Herk | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | corvus | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | CrimsenArthalos | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zipfi Langstrumpf | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | Pun1sher | 43% | 23 |
| #10 | Broly | 43% | 80 |
| #11 | GzuzChrist | 37% | 27 |
| #12 | Blyatin | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broly | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ✪p4yn3x | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Legat | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Dr. Argos | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Tardik | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broly | 423 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Legat | 371 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | corvus | 353 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dr. Argos | 147 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪p4yn3x | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broly | +2.20 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | Tardik | +1.11 | 78 | 49 |
| #3 | [AUT] Ravonator | ラファエル | +0.74 | 49 | 54 |
| #4 | CrimsenArthalos | +0.12 | 61 | 69 |
| #5 | corvus | -0.05 | 66 | 48 |





