








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 714 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2765 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2206 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1178 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,394 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 570 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Merit | 77% | 43 |
| #2 | [AS] Fiat Multipla | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | =MDR= Zoulag | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | =MDR=² mỖ几ч в | 61% | 44 |
| #5 | =MDR= W!ZU | 52% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SAVIORS | 43% | 51 |
| #8 | Jupiter | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | wanoshi | 41% | 51 |
| #10 | Loading... | 39% | 38 |
| #11 | =MDR= Kill'R | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =MDR= W!ZU | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | =MDR= ORTHO (T) | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SAVIORS | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | wanoshi | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | =MDR= Zoulag | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =MDR= Zoulag | 186 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jupiter | 161 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #3 | =MDR=² mỖ几ч в | 108 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Merit | 101 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | SAVIORS | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScarCrow™ | +6.03 | 85 | 32 |
| #2 | =MDR= W!ZU | +2.97 | 85 | 33 |
| #3 | Jupiter | +1.54 | 54 | 69 |
| #4 | Merit | -0.11 | 42 | 52 |
| #5 | =MDR= Zoulag | -0.41 | 51 | 63 |





