








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7474 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6051 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5172 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5050 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,984,988 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 629 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =MDR= Zoulag | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | =MDR= W!ZU | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | =MDR= Kebab"# | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | wanoshi | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | =MDR= NubS` | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =MDR= Zoulag | 452 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | =MDR= NubS` | 451 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | BuDLoo | 183 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | tux | 143 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | =MDR= Kill'R | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =MDR= W!ZU | +5.31 | 86 | 39 |
| #2 | tux | +4.15 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | Loading... | +2.92 | 70 | 37 |
| #4 | =MDR= kiki ㋛ | +1.95 | 77 | 39 |
| #5 | =MDR= Zoulag | +1.34 | 48 | 64 |





