








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 559 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4981 | 13% |
| Smokes | 11016 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9109 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 12615 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,769,449 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =MDR= NubS` | 48% | 90 |
| #2 | =MDR= W!ZU | 47% | 219 |
| #3 | wanoshi | 45% | 121 |
| #4 | =MDR= Zoulag | 45% | 176 |
| #5 | ScarCrow™ | 44% | 93 |





