








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1234 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1247 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 643 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 900 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,515 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BronzeChin | 53% | 55 |
| #2 | qwertyPi3 | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | mAGNETo | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | vir | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | Qwertyloops | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mAGNETo | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | vir | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | Qwertyloops | 43% | 28 |
| #6 | t0ilet_papr | 42% | 38 |
| #7 | Aina | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BronzeChin | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | t0ilet_papr | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | mAGNETo | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | vir | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Qwertyloops | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BronzeChin | 185 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | vir | 142 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | mAGNETo | 124 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Qwertyloops | 101 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | t0ilet_papr | 94 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aina | +2.20 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | vir | +1.57 | 67 | 72 |
| #3 | qwertyPi3 | +0.31 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Melona | +0.14 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | mAGNETo | -0.57 | 56 | 70 |





