








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1904 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1378 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 668 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1184 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $658,537 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -S3AN- | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Darkbasil | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | Faltix | 52% | 117 |
| #4 | BLZ | 51% | 78 |
| #5 | stew | 51% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BLZ | 51% | 78 |
| #5 | stew | 51% | 217 |
| #6 | Bakis | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | Wlly | 38% | 68 |
| #8 | Lemme smash | 38% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLZ | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | stew | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Wlly | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Bakis | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | Faltix | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stew | 985 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #2 | BLZ | 140 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Wlly | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Faltix | 91 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lemme smash | 88 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -S3AN- | +4.31 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | stew | +1.99 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | BLZ | +1.99 | 77 | 47 |
| #4 | Faltix | +0.20 | 44 | 36 |
| #5 | Noname | +0.14 | 58 | 46 |





