








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 487 | 26% |
| Smokes | 392 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 222 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,797 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -S3AN- | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Bakis | 43% | 30 |
| #3 | stew | 38% | 117 |
| #4 | Noname | 38% | 66 |
| #5 | Faltix | 37% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Noname | 38% | 66 |
| #5 | Faltix | 37% | 84 |
| #6 | BLZ | 31% | 35 |
| #7 | Darkbasil | 27% | 26 |
| #8 | Wlly | 27% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stew | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Wlly | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | BLZ | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Bakis | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Faltix | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stew | 493 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | Noname | 195 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | BLZ | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bakis | 74 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wlly | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -S3AN- | +6.76 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | stew | +2.81 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | BLZ | +1.39 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | Noname | +0.51 | 63 | 43 |
| #5 | Faltix | +0.29 | 50 | 38 |





