








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1093 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1926 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2297 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2746 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,230,424 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albertito | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | Vrikka | 50% | 335 |
| #3 | Pyykkibuii | 47% | 173 |
| #4 | Mnri | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | :D | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pyykkibuii | 47% | 173 |
| #4 | Mnri | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | :D | 42% | 36 |
| #6 | lard fat homer | 40% | 30 |
| #7 | Zhaile | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vrikka | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Pyykkibuii | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Mnri | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Zhaile | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Albertito | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vrikka | 375 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | Pyykkibuii | 307 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Mnri | 267 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Albertito | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | lard fat homer | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lard fat homer | +5.24 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | Vrikka | +3.98 | 54 | 48 |
| #3 | :D | +2.39 | 68 | 31 |
| #4 | Albertito | +1.38 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | Mnri | -0.43 | 58 | 48 |





