








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 692 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6786 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5965 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5241 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5185 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,397,876 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiversen | 49% | 205 |
| #2 | SimZn | 48% | 790 |
| #3 | julius | 47% | 233 |
| #4 | tobseN | 45% | 258 |
| #5 | noXi | 44% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiversen | 49% | 205 |
| #2 | SimZn | 48% | 790 |
| #3 | julius | 47% | 233 |
| #4 | tobseN | 45% | 258 |
| #5 | noXi | 44% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SimZn | 65 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | julius | 52 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | tobseN | 47 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Shiversen | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | noXi | 11 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SimZn | 1641 | 0.10 | 38 min |
| #2 | tobseN | 1156 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #3 | Shiversen | 696 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | julius | 656 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #5 | noXi | 130 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiversen | +3.21 | 62 | 51 |
| #2 | julius | +2.49 | 69 | 50 |
| #3 | tobseN | +1.79 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | Volltare | -0.33 | 67 | 55 |
| #5 | noXi | -1.55 | 48 | 30 |





