








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7807 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4927 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5619 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 748 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,261 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n | 56% | 290 |
| #2 | Richard | 55% | 225 |
| #3 | Dr. Rush | 53% | 258 |
| #4 | Ropssssssss | 52% | 143 |
| #5 | MrLean | 51% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n | 35 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | MrLean | 22 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Ropssssssss | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Dr. Rush | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Richard | 10 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n | 1220 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | Richard | 567 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Dr. Rush | 540 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #4 | Ropssssssss | 241 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | MrLean | 234 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n | +2.33 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | acaca | +0.91 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | Richard | -0.54 | 40 | 58 |
| #4 | MrLean | -0.95 | 54 | 42 |
| #5 | Dr. Rush | -1.21 | 41 | 47 |





