








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6 | 3% |
| Smokes | 48 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 58 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 78 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,265 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X1ZzeR ツ | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | TheBlackbasha | Pvpro.com | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | kys bro | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | 4bracaD4n13l | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | KartofSnitel | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TheBlackbasha | Pvpro.com | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | kys bro | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | 4bracaD4n13l | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | KartofSnitel | 25% | 8 |
| #6 | ⍟ pan john | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBlackbasha | Pvpro.com | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | kys bro | 1 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBlackbasha | Pvpro.com | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | KartofSnitel | 20 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | X1ZzeR ツ | 14 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | ⍟ pan john | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | 4bracaD4n13l | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kys bro | +2.01 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | X1ZzeR ツ | +0.50 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | YetiBerty | +0.46 | 59 | 14 |
| #4 | TheBlackbasha | Pvpro.com | -0.22 | 81 | 42 |
| #5 | KartofSnitel | -1.37 | 75 | 68 |





