








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 700 | 29% |
| Smokes | 631 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 487 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 569 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,905 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kerma | 63% | 35 |
| #6 | kone | 63% | 8 |
| #7 | lerpahdus | 60% | 10 |
| #8 | Sheikki Hussoin | 53% | 15 |
| #9 | nags | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerma | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Oskujxhhi | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | gablant | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | nags | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oskujxhhi | 124 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | VanrVal | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kerma | 74 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sheikki Hussoin | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | gablant | 25 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oskujxhhi | +1.69 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | Piirakkaboe | +1.33 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | Kerma | +1.17 | 56 | 61 |
| #4 | lerpahdus | +1.16 | 83 | 43 |
| #5 | kone | +0.44 | 68 | 55 |





