








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2656 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2653 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4500 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3541 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,604,648 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piirakkaboe | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | gablant | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | Kerma | 51% | 175 |
| #4 | nags | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | lerpahdus | 47% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nags | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | lerpahdus | 47% | 66 |
| #6 | VanrVal | 47% | 167 |
| #7 | Jake | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | Tup3 | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerma | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | VanrVal | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Piirakkaboe | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | lerpahdus | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Jake | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerma | 344 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | VanrVal | 290 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Piirakkaboe | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | nags | 74 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jake | 73 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oskujxhhi | +2.16 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Piirakkaboe | +1.21 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | Kerma | +0.89 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | nags | +0.75 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | lerpahdus | +0.55 | 85 | 48 |





