








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1240 | 25% |
| Smokes | 897 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1815 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1105 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,928 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piirakkaboe | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | gablant | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | jaska | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | wbQ | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Oskujxhhi | 51% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oskujxhhi | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | VanrVal | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Piirakkaboe | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | gablant | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | lerpahdus | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oskujxhhi | 401 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | VanrVal | 199 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Piirakkaboe | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | gablant | 56 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | nags | 51 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaska | +2.71 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Oskujxhhi | +1.69 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Piirakkaboe | +1.40 | 76 | 51 |
| #4 | Kerma | +0.96 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | lerpahdus | +0.65 | 86 | 50 |





