








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1168 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2275 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1195 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1553 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,779 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | domi | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | jussuf | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | ππΈππ΅ππ | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | Heltsi | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | nippe | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ππΈππ΅ππ | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | Heltsi | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | nippe | 55% | 42 |
| #6 | Tkm Tatu | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | Kanxss | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanxss | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | nippe | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ππΈππ΅ππ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | jussuf | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanxss | 244 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | nippe | 182 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Heltsi | 131 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ππΈππ΅ππ | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | jussuf | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | domi | +3.91 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | nippe | +1.71 | 76 | 46 |
| #3 | Heltsi | +1.49 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Tkm Tatu | +1.34 | 94 | 46 |
| #5 | Kanxss | +0.14 | 70 | 59 |





