








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 299 matches | ||
| Wingman | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4145 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5100 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3977 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4803 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $921,491 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 630 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussuf | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | ππΈππ΅ππ | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Heltsi | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | vedixx | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussuf | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | ππΈππ΅ππ | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Heltsi | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | vedixx | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussuf | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | ππΈππ΅ππ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heltsi | 126 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | vedixx | 118 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | jussuf | 96 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ππΈππ΅ππ | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nippe | +1.85 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | Heltsi | +1.31 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | vedixx | +0.88 | 66 | 73 |
| #4 | ππΈππ΅ππ | -0.23 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | jussuf | -0.87 | 50 | 58 |





