








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1569 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3038 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4602 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6926 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,776,820 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 733 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Carrot | 37% | 54 |
| #11 | Peaceyy | 35% | 110 |
| #12 | Gurky | 35% | 52 |
| #13 | DaftDrummer | 33% | 85 |
| #14 | TeaEditor | 28% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jam | 27 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Rush the Toasty Boi | 22 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Peaceyy | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Twin | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Arne con Carne | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rush the Toasty Boi | 563 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | Jam | 381 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Arne con Carne | 249 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | DaftDrummer | 239 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Lukas | 156 | 0.13 | 5 min |





