








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1434 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1666 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2138 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $762,791 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Twin | 36% | 22 |
| #15 | Carrot | 36% | 22 |
| #16 | fauxz | 35% | 26 |
| #17 | TeaEditor | 33% | 15 |
| #18 | Gurky | 33% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cryvvi | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Rush the Toasty Boi | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Jam | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Twin | 4 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Peaceyy | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rush the Toasty Boi | 276 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | DaftDrummer | 168 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Peaceyy | 84 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jam | 76 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | fauxz | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |





