








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 702 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1606 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1894 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,884 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Gurky | 39% | 54 |
| #10 | Carrot | 38% | 26 |
| #11 | fauxz | 38% | 21 |
| #12 | cryvvi | 35% | 110 |
| #13 | TeaEditor | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rush the Toasty Boi | 14 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Jam | 12 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | cryvvi | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Arne con Carne | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Skull | 4 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rush the Toasty Boi | 306 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Arne con Carne | 151 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | DaftDrummer | 134 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jam | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Skull | 73 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boolie | +5.78 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | Jam | +5.55 | 63 | 44 |
| #3 | Skull | +3.49 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | Trailer | +2.36 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | Rush the Toasty Boi | +2.25 | 57 | 73 |





