








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1616 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1251 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 717 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,316 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIK | 85% | 26 |
| #2 | fms | 73% | 45 |
| #3 | Wunderhorn von Glanziboy | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | GKN | 64% | 86 |
| #5 | sLayyer | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sLayyer | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | sonniibee | 49% | 41 |
| #7 | jj | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | t0mN | 45% | 31 |
| #9 | Losy_Golab | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fms | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | GKN | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | sonniibee | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Wunderhorn von Glanziboy | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GKN | 384 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | fms | 313 | 0.37 | 7 min |
| #3 | Wunderhorn von Glanziboy | 92 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | t0mN | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | NIK | 57 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLayyer | +4.24 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | NIK | +3.97 | 89 | 67 |
| #3 | GKN | +2.23 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | jj | +2.21 | 66 | 65 |
| #5 | Wunderhorn von Glanziboy | +1.81 | 82 | 68 |





